Bear with me on this one, this is a subject close to my heart.
You may be wondering well, yes, but what has it got to do with abortion & the prolife movement which this blog loosely posts about? Everything! The problem is that society see children as a burden and a problem if the circumstances of their conception is not perfect! But life is not perfect and sometimes children come along unexpectedly contrary to our plans!
So. how do we deal with these unexpected pregnancies when life has already started and before a woman discovers she is pregnant so much genetically has been decided to make this life unique and a one off creation?
Abortion. That’s how many women deal with this unexpected event in their lives.
So, let’s come back to the question of “Are you having more children?” Unfortunately because we see children as a burden instead of a blessing the pressure to stop and make sure that none of these “unexpected” pregnancies occur is huge. For those of us who follow the Church’s teaching by using Natural Family Planning and being open to life it is hard to know what to say to this question which is thrown out at those of us who dare to exceed the two children expectation that is expected of every family.
Jennifer Fulwiler who blogs at conversiondiary.com has recently posted on this very subject and aswell as being witty and thought provoking she is also honest and real.
But children are more than a number in the family birth order, and each human life is infinitely valuable. Think of someone you love: When you consider the worth of his or her life, it makes you view the pregnancy that brought him or her into existence differently. It makes you willing to accept higher levels of risk to add a person like that to the world.
I’m not suggesting that there’s never a good reason to avoid pregnancy; even aside from health risks, there are plenty of other reasons couples might decide that it’s not a good time for another kid. I only suggest that when we make those decisions, it’s critical that we make them in light of the hope that every new baby brings. When you think of making sacrifices for a nameless, faceless “pregnancy,” it doesn’t seem worth much effort. But the cost/benefit ratio changes drastically when you really think about the worth of one boy or girl’s life.
Natural Family Planning can be an effective way to space children. (I’ll give you a moment to stop laughing and clean up the drink you just spilled on your keyboard.) No, seriously, if you’re willing to invest a little time to learn the ropes, it can work just as well as contraception. I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not always easy, and that the challenges that come with NFP are very real. However, it’s not like the alternatives offer problem-free solutions either. As the great Simcha Fisher once said, “When it comes to facing fertility, all God’s children got angst.”
She deals with the crux of the matter when she acknowledges that when women and their husbands decide that no more children, ever is what they want they often turn to contraception. We all know that no method of contraception is 100% effective, so what do these same couples do when they conceive despite their best efforts?
Yep, you’ve got it. Abortion. Which is why we believe the contraception culture fuels the abortion industry. We left God behind and found the easiest answer (or so it seems) to the problem.
Jennifer goes on,
There are no more difficult, complicated, messy decisions in the human experience than the decisions we make about having kids. In no area of life is there more at stake, more opportunities for suffering and loss, and more opportunities for joy and love and connection that will last through eternity
Couldn’t have put it better myself if I tried. It strikes me also that such a difficult decision is best left to someone infinately wiser than us humans who are, despite the best will in the world, influenced by what society thinks. ie. God.
And so when people ask about whether I think I’ll have more children, I usually respond with a responsible-sounding answer about how I am aware of the risks and currently plan to take the prudent course and avoid pregnancy for the rest of my fertile years. But then I’ll glance over at my little blond-haired son, and sometimes his tiny, ink-blue eyes will catch mine, and I can barely suppress a smile as I think: Never say never.