Telling it Like it Is.

Here is a tragically sad story that we don’t get to read in the mainstream press but we must let everyone know – women are hurt by abortion and regret it!  There is no,  happy ever after,  where killing their unborn child makes their life better and beautiful.  These vulnerable women are left with guilt, shame, pain and longing for support to make things better.  Let us give woman real help by passing on stories like this one which tells it like it is.

 

A wonderful lady has shared her powerful story here….This is my story and I hope by passing on my experience will help to prevent further destruction of lives. Abortion is not something you can use to brush a problem or situation under the carpet, it does not fix a situation, however it does creates more wounds.

My story began just over a year after the end of a failed marriage when I believed I met someone who I could build my future with. I rented out my home and I moved over 180 miles with my son to begin our new life, thinking that I had finally found happiness. Unfortunately I couldn’t have been more wrong. The relationship deteriorated and one night an argument resulted in me being kicked in the head. I have been a police officer and could never understand why women stayed with men that abused them, but that night I became part of a group of people that understood the complicated situation of being in an abusive relationship. I didn’t leave him straight away, mainly due to shock, guilt that I had uprooted my boy and despair of a broken heart. In that time I discovered I was pregnant and didn’t even consider getting rid of the baby. One day I realised if I stayed I would never be safe and I got the strength to leave, however, even though I was now safe from an abusive man my trauma was to continue.

I have never been very good at being pregnant, my son was born between twenty five and twenty six weeks early and the sickness is incredible for the first six month. The sickness in this pregnancy was no different and my medically minded family had concerns on how I could cope with the illness, I also had no job as I had moved from out of the area. I also needed to get my house back from being rented out but needed to get a job to be able to pay for it. They believed that an abortion was my only option, and in the belief that they knew best they put pressure on me to have one. I felt so emotionally and physically weak I did not have the strength, I am normally regarded for, to fight for what I believed in. I suddenly found myself on conveyer belt towards the destruction of my baby and it also nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t stop crying, every night was lonely and full of despair. In tears I would ask my family to support me in keeping my baby, but they thought I was being selfish and wasn’t thinking about my son. I know they were doing what they thought was best, but what I needed was for them to say to me that they would help me get over the trauma of abuse and support me having my baby.

The day of the abortion I felt numb and empty and a part of me died to that day, my life after that day was full of sadness and emptiness. I started to hate myself, disgusted at how weak I had been and how I had allowed myself to get into such a situation, I was so low I began to think that my son was better off without me. He deserved someone stronger and I began to wish I wouldn’t wake up from sleeping at night. I became very good at acting ok, I mastered crying in secret one minute and smiling in front of people the next. To try and fill the emptiness I began with destructive behaviour like excessive drinking and spending money I didn’t have, very different to my normal thrifty self. I knew I had to do something before I destroyed myself; I went to the doctors and sobbed for help.

If you are someone who feels that their only choice is abortion then please understand that killing a child doesn’t get rid of a problem or the pain of a traumatic experience, it destroys lives. There are other options and there are people you can reach out to. Nothing positive comes from death, it’s a path of more destruction. Or if you are someone who is currently supporting someone who is considering abortion, please hold their hands and let them know they won’t be on their own in their decision for life. A baby is life and a new beginning, despite obstacles that may be in the way.

The decision to destroy my baby will be the biggest regret of my life, but the day that felt I had made some way in healing, was the day I finally went to confession. Previously I had felt so ashamed that I couldn’t face confessing my dark secret, but one day I knew it was time. It was a beautiful experience and finally truly understood what Jesus had done for us, I finally asked my child for forgiveness. I know my baby is with the Lord and I know we will be reunited and I will be able to hold them in my arms.

Posted 1 week ago by
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